This Morning's Fight

This Morning's Fight

Erich and I both woke up this morning with headaches, feeling exhausted, unmotivated and desperately looking forward to the Holidays and the vacation time that it brings.

Then we had a minor disagreement in the bathroom which left me sobbing in bed. 

Here is what happened:  I have had this weekend visit to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Oxnard planned for months.  It was originally planned for October but was re-scheduled for this coming weekend a while back.  Erich was super excited to meet my Aunt and Uncle (he has never even met anyone from my Dad's side of the family).  But about a month ago we found out Big Tone (the white rapper/ accountant) is having a big birthday party and concert this same weekend.  And we have to miss it because we will be out of town. 

And then my brother and sister-in-law decided they are also driving from Vegas this weekend for a visit and want some family time. So I had to fit them in too.  So I invited Mom, Grandparents, brother and sister-in-law to our house for lunch this Sunday, right after we get back from Aunt and Uncle's in Oxnard.

Anyway, the fight happened becase apparantly I had unintentionally forgotten to run this all by Erich so when I cc'd him on the email confirming plans with the family he got upset that he had to find out that we are not only going out of town this weekend but also having my entire family to our house for lunch.

My bad?

So when we both woke up headachy and tired, and he started to discuss his annoyance that I didn't run the plans by him, my feelings got hurt and I got frustrated that I always end up being the one who plans stuff and no one appreciates it and I feel torn in a million pieces and bla bla bla tears tear tears poor me...

And that's when I realized we neeeeedddddddd time off.  We neeeeedddd rest and vacation.  We are doing way too much.  So much so that our social life is causing fights.  We weren't really fighting about anything in general this morning.  We are just both exhausted and overwhelmed and are taking it out on each other.

After the tears stopped I took a look at our social calendar for the last few months and the next few weeks and it's no wonder we are both overwhelmed and exhausted and frusterated:
Every single freaking moment we aren't at work we are doing something major!

Now, don't get me wrong.  In no way am I complaining.  Erich and I live a very blessed life.  We have a ton of wonderful friends and family surrounding us and we are lucky enough to be able to plan fantasticly fun things.

But we are tired. It's no wonder I get 3 weeks headaches and flu that won't go away!  It's shocking that Erich and I can even stand to look at each other!  We have seriously over booked ourselves, since, oh, the moment we met.  It's one of the reason's we fell in love!  We both believe in living life to it's absolute fullest and having an amazing time.  But what ends up happening is that we do A LOT.  And are now going on weekend #11 in a row that we are either out of town or hosting a major event at our house. Top a crazy social life with Erich's recent promotion to a managerial roll at work, my looming PhD graduation date and start up business... and well.... you get 2 tired people.

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sea lions, broken glass and the connection between gangster rap and wine: the randomest blog post ever

sea lions, broken glass and the connection between gangster rap and wine: the randomest blog post ever

Just a warning: this is going to be the world's longest post EVER.
Sorry, this is what happens when I don't blog for a week and don't get to talk about myself a lot.

When last I left you, wayyyyy back on Nov 6th, I said:

I've been crazy busy and crazy sick this week.  So much to update you all on, including what I am going to do when I grow up, how I just can't seem to drink enough wine and why Christmas will always make me just a little bit sad.

Sorry, but you'll have to wait for most of that.  Because last week was so freaking insane!  


I'll begin with my visit my real-life bestie Amanda, who I hadn't seen since she abandoned me in July to move to Berkeley.  Let's just say it was weekend of old school style debachery :)


Friday afternoon Erich and I drove up the I5 freeway for 6 hours until we reached Berkeley where Amanda and her beau Elliott live.  Of course the champagne was opened immediately and then we headed straight to their favorite neighborhood pub where I got to catch up with our long time college friend Darinee!

The next morning Amanda made the most amazing blueberry pancakes (and mimosas) and we cuddled up on the couch just like the old days when we lived together in our crazy eclectic college apartment.

After breakfast we did some exploring.  Erich had never been to San Francisco so we did tons of site seeing!  His fav: the street cars.  My fav: The sea lions!

 

From there we went to a super cool bar called the Irish Bank and met up with even more old college friends and E's best friend Lauren.

All in all it was an amazing weekend!  It was sooooo good to spend time with Amanda and Elliott and to see where they live.  I am happy to report that they have an adorable apartment and 2 crazy cats and have made a really precious and happy life for themselves up there.  It was also amazing to catch up with so many of my college friends, and to spend time in San Francisco- one of the most magical cities in the world.

The next week (this would be beginning with last Monday) started out rough.  It was the beginning of week 2 of the flu that just wouldn't go away.  I spent most of Monday and Tuesday in bed with a fever and coughing- but I didn't have too much time to just relax because I had an important day at work on Wednesday to prepare for and my first sip! event scheduled for Thursday!

Monday and Tuesday, in between coughing and bitch about how shitty I felt I ran around planning for Thursday night's event.  I had to taste wines, buy wines, buy cheese, but napkins, etc.  It was a lot of work!  Who knew drinking wine could be such a pain in the butt!

Wednesday was the day from hell.  I had a miserably dramatic day at work.  I left there feeling like physical and emotional crap.  Then I had to go home to clean our extremely dirty apartment (because the sip! event was being hosted at my place! Pressure?!?).  In the whirlwinf of cleaning I broke on gignatic picture frame followed by 2 wine glasses in the sink.  The straw that broke the camel's back was when I reached into the sink to get a dish and a shard of broken glass drive right under my nail and slashed it off.  Blood everywhere!

Needless to say the waterworks started.  In times like this there is only one option: call someone who loves you to come rescue you.  Now, normally I'd go straight for Mom in speed dial because she is always willing to listen to my dramatic crying, but my common sense kicked in and I decided she probably wouldn't want to drive 3 hours in traffic to come bandage my finger.  Next best: Erich.

Now, I should note that Wednesday is Erich's man night.  He goes straight to his friend's house after work and plays cards until about 1am.  Wednesday is sacred.  I do not mess with Wednesday.  But I had no choice.  I needed him.  So I picked up the phone and called.  And what did he do?  Hung up the phone and drove right home to be with me.

He was my hero.  He didn't even get mad that I broke his picture.  He cleaned the whole house, picked up all of the broken glass and wiped up the blood.  Listeded to me cry and botch out my shitty shitty shitty day, then poured me a glass of tequila and put me to bed.  It was incredible.

The next day was Thursday: my first ever real, paid, sip! event!  I was commissioned by my good friend Jared (aka Big Tone).  Big Tone, or Tone as I call him, is freaking amazing.  He is a white rapper (and a damn good one), and record label owner, and an accountant (he does Erich's taxes and is my sip! book keeper!)  Random much? 

Anyway, Tone owns a record label called TRASH CAN MUSIC PRODUCTIONS and he had exciting things going on that he wanted to promote, including a big show next week and a record release.  So he hired me to throw a party!

We called it: "sip! my demo!": a sip! in-home wine tasting event!  And it was awesome!

Tone invited about 20 people... and I did the rest!  I featured 5 wines and 4 cheeses.  I put together bags with Tone's demo, my sip! info and a souvenir wine glass, and went though an entire educational wines tasting with a bunch of rappers and stoners.  It was hilarious!  And so much fun!

And a TON of work.

Here are what the bags looked like.  They have cute "sip! logo stickers on them that I had made on etsy:

The glasses looked so pretty all lined up.... waiting for the rappers :)

Here are my bottles all lined up with my amazing little pourers (they pour exactly 1 oz- perfect for tastings!):

The set up:

Look at these amazing menus Erich made for me!  It's so since to have a boyfriend who went to art school and knows how to design stuff :)  He mounted them on mounting board so they stood up on the tables.  It was beautiful!

 

The event was so much fun, and such a great learning experience.  I honestly cannot believe that I was paid to throw a party!  I love my life.

Aaaaand the best part of the whole night: at one point I snuck away to check my email and found out that some random sweet gal found my website and contacted me and now I am booked to host a bridal shower at her home in January!!!

A stranger hired me! It's official!  I am in business!!!

Friday I ditched work and recovered.  I still felt like crap, my cough was no better and I had ANOTHER cold sore on my nose (this always happens when I get a fever- herpes explodes on my face.  So not hot). 

And then it was time for another weekend!

And there you have it- the craziest week ever.  So great and so horrible all at the same time.

I promise, now that my first sip! event is over and I'm almost healed from the never ending flu I will get back to my regular writing schedule- so much to fill you in on!

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How To Be Free, and how my best friend abandoned me but I'm ok with it

How To Be Free, and how my best friend abandoned me but I'm ok with it

I've been crazy busy and crazy sick this week.  So much to update you all on, including what I am going to do when I grow up, how I just can't seem to drink enough wine and why Christmas will always make me just a little bit sad.

But for now, you will have to settle with this: I am going to visit my real-life bestie Amanda, who I haven't seen since she abandoned me in July to move to Berkeley.  Needless to say I am beyond excited for a weekend of old school style debachery :)

Also, I stumbled upon this thought and I am officially making it my new matra:

How to Be Free: A Beginner’s Guide

1. Let go of expectations regarding success.  

Let go of everyone’s expectations towards success, except your own.  Once you’ve figured out your version, jump in!  You are free! Don’t forget you can towel off and start over if need be.  It’s all part of the journey.

2. Let go of expectations regarding beauty.

Understand there is so much more to beauty than the size of your jeans, the length of your lashes, the cool factor of your style.  Let go of unrealistic expectations combed from media, your mother’s neurosis, your girlfriends better whatever, your own striving towards perfection. Let go of striving.  Live.  Love.  Accept.  Relax.

Realize this is hard.  Practice for your daughter’s sake.  Understand that accepting your own beauty means you are free.

3.  Let go of expectations regarding happiness.

Catch yourself every time you play the if, then game.  If I get this promotion, then I’ll be happy.  If he asks me to marry him, then I’ll be happy.   If she @’s me on Twitter, then I’ll be happy.  Realize this is a trick you play on yourself. An evil, disappointing, unrealistic trick.

Happiness is an inside job. Happiness is not nearly as dependent on outside factors as our expectations have led us to believe. 

Start doing the things that make you happy more often.  Let go of the expectation that this means you are selfish, flighty or wasting time.  Stop doing so many of the things that make you unhappy. Understand that it feels odd.

Accept that by taking control over your own happiness, you have set yourself free.

Happy Weekend :)  I hope you too are spending it with your best friends doing the things that make you happiest.

 

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blessings in disguise, one night stands, and how i got kicked out of a bar for a drunken injury.

blessings in disguise, one night stands, and how i got kicked out of a bar for a drunken injury.

I knew it.  I just had a feeling I'd be peer pressured into dressing up for Halloween. 

(Don't get me wrong- I love a good party and a good costume and a good drunken adventure, but as one wise and wonderful wandering woman put it "I don't need an excuse to get dressed up and drink and act like an asshole. Stop telling me what to do with these Halloween shenanigans!!")

Anyway, here is the result:

See: Angel + mask = blessing in disguise.  Get it?  Ha.  Ha.

Check out the construction on that halo.  I made it myself.  It included steel scaffolding and all.  I'm pretty sure it could withstand a tsunami. Too bad I lost it along with the rest of my costume by the end of the night...

Erich was.... wait for it....A ONE NIGHT STAND!  

(All night long our fav joke was "We started out as a one night stand but ended up with a one LIFE stand!" Clever, I know.   Ha!)

Scott was Jack and The Bean Stalk!

Greg was Swine Flu!

 

It was good times... then I was at some bar dancing and causing trouble when I cut my finger on a broken glass and started gushing blood all over the place.

When the bouncer saw me he kicked me out because I was getting blood all over the sweaty drunk people.  At least he gave me some freaking napkins.  Sheesh.

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costume montage.... and a confession

costume montage.... and a confession

In honor of tomorrow's big holiday I thought I would make a confession: I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DRESS UP! 

And here is why...

March 2009: The ROBOParty:

June 2009: The Great Western Tube Float in Lake Havasu:

July 2009: Team Disneyland @ The Beer Olympics:

August 2009: Erich's Super Hero Birthday Party in Mexico:

August 2009: Blue Beer @ Stone Ale Brewfest:

And so you see: I have celebrated Halloween ALL FREAKING YEAR LONG!  The mystical, magical, specialness of dressing up is lost on me this Halloween!  I don't have the energy to top what I have already done! 

That said, Erich loves Halloween like I love 4th of July, and I am pretty sure he would leave me if I didn't dress up.  So as much as I would LOVE to protest, I have a feeling I will be posting pictures on Monday....

Happy Halloween Everyone!

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the fan, the headache and the wine: some updates

the fan, the headache and the wine: some updates

• Update on the headache:  I listened to all of your advice and went to the doctor last Thursday.  All 3 of the doctors who work in the office had a pow wow and couldn't really come up with a reason for the 3 week headache but they all decided I needed an injection of migraine medicine.  At first they were going to give me an Imitrex but I stopped them because I take Effexor and was worried that they were contraindicated.  Turns out I was right.  So they gave me a shot of Tramadol.  It was the most painful shot I have ever had (even worse than the Tetanus shot I got last year!).  Seriously my arm hurt for 2 days afterward.  But..... the headache left!  In fact, I didn't have a headache for almost a full week (until I woke up with one this morning.... but really I'm not complaining because 1 headache per week is better than 1 headache for 3 weeks straight).  I also started seeing a chiropractor this week who thinks he can help me with the headaches as well.  So, THANK YOU for making me go to the doctor!

• The bedroom: You all had fantastic advice.  I was very reluctant to give up my fan and thought Erich should just get another blanket and suck it up. But then I went camping with my family and talked with them about it.  Turns out my brother and sister-in-law had the same problem when they moved in together.  He was a sweater and needed the fan and she hated it.  He eventually decided to learn to sleep without it and gave up the fan for her.  They both told me that there are some things you just do for love.  So, Erich, with the help of my family, came up with solution: in the winter, no fan.  In the summer: I get the fan.  That's as far as we have gotten.  Not sure how we are going to define when it is appropriate to turn it off or on, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  For now, it has been chilly out so we have been sleeping sans-fan all week and I have survived :)

• sip! update 1: I decided to completely dedicated my business to all California wines!  I love the idea too. 
  There are 3 great reasons: First of all, my clients and myself are California residents, so tasting and purchasing California wines supports the California economy and encourages local wine producers to continue to make fantastic wines.  Second, it is more "green." Because California wines travel fewer miles to get to us we are leaving a smaller carbon footprint.  And last but certainly not least: California wines are delicious!  Our home state produces some of the best wines in the world!  So, I have been researching wineries in California.  I have a list of every winery in California and am emailing them, region, by region, requesting that they send me sample bottles of their wines for me to try.  So far this week I have emailed every winery in Santa Barbara County (Santa Ynez, Paso Robles, Santa Maria) and Temecula.  Next I am going to tackle northern Califormia wineries. As you can imagine this is tedious work.  But I think it is a good idea.  It enables me to taste wine from all over the place without having to visit the winery (that would take YEARS), and also it establishes relationships with wineries because if I like their wines I will serve them in tastings and recommend them for purchase by my clients.

• sip! update 2: I have my first sip! event!  It is scheduled for Nov 12th.  I'll keep you updated on all of the plans and details as it get's closer!  So excited!!!

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survivor san mateo: my family camping trip... the tribe has spoken!

survivor san mateo: my family camping trip... the tribe has spoken!

This weekend I went camping in San Onofre/ San Clemente at the San Mateo Campground just 1.5 miles inland from Tressles Beach.  There was no occasion, really.  We just love to camp!  My brother and sister in law, Jonny and Erika (plus their furbaby, and my nephew, Dallas) drove in from Las Vegas.  Mom drove in from Yucaipa, and Erich and I drove down from Santa Monica.




It was Erika's first time ever camping so she imagined it would be somewhat like Survivor.  So mom decided we would have teams with official team colors and buffs :)

Here we all are... a bunch of happy campers:

Team Blue: Jonny and Erika:

Team Purple: Crystal and Erich:

Team Green: Mom and Dallas:

We had challenges like girls vs boys board games.  The girls were not happy campers when the boys won at Cranium:

We also had a foam airplane flying contest:

 

And we even had a beer chugging team relay contest:

We had margaritas, s'mores, veggie dogs, went on hikes, took naps, told stories, went on a hike and mostly did a TON of laughing.

It was, hands down, the best camping trip EVER.

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our bedroom to HOT..... literally

our bedroom to HOT..... literally

Apparantly there is a theme for this week: Official Crystal needs your help and you give her awesome advice week?

This time I need your help with.... bed.

There isn't much that Erich and I bicker about.  Really.  For 2 people who just moved in together we are pretty darn compatible, living-wise.  Except for one aspect: bed.

We have conquored many bed battles.

At first it was who got to keep their bed in the big move-in.  We compromised and bought a new bed.  Then it was who got to keep their mattress.  He needed his VERY hard one for his back so I let him keep it and bought a dreamy 4 inch-thick pillow-like feather mattress to put on top that is nice and squishy for me, but supportive for him.

But there is one battle that has yet to be settled and that is the fan.

You may recall I have had this issue in the past.

I am a very hot sleeper.  I wake up sweaty all year round.  I don't  know why but I do, k?  That's the first reason I need the fan.  The second reason is that I have slept with the sound of the fan on my entire life!  I soothes me!  I am obsessed with my fan.  I love it.  I need it.

The problem: Erich hates it.  He is a cold sleeper so he says he freezes all night with the fan (even though I point it away from him) and he cannot stand the sound (he calls it the wind tunnel, even though I set it to "low" to keep it as quiet as possible).

We "fight" over this literally every night.  I turn it on when I go to sleep.  An hour later he turns it off.  I wake up sweaty and get up and turn it back on.  He wakes up freezing and turns it off.  One or both of us always wakes up bitter in the morning from being awake all night with the fan "cold war" (pun intended).

I have suggested he put more clothes on to sleep or to add another blanket to his side but he always says "That's just a slippery slope to sleeping in separate bedrooms like old people!" and frankly, how can I argue with that?  Dude is trying to keep our new relationship hot.  Problem it's so hot I am sweating all over the place!

Help!  How do we solve this problem or come to some sort of compromise?

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headache help

headache help

I have had a headache for 3 weeks.

No seriously.  It's getting ridiculous.  It started on a Monday 3 weeks ago and lasted for 3 days straight.  Nothing helped. So I knew what was coming: a migraine.  By Thursday I was stuck in bed in the dark.  That's how it almost always works; I wake up with a dull, annoying headache that won't go away and then 3 days later it turns into a nightmarish one-sided migraine.  Then a day later the migraine is gone and the headaches are gone.  I've been getting migraines since I was 13, and have always been prone to frequent headaches, but never for 3 weeks straight.

I had 2 days of relief post-migraine, but by Sunday night my headache was back.  And it hasn't left since.  Nothing helps.  I pop ibuprofen 800mg like they are candy.  I even take 3 Excedrin on top of that when I get desperate. Nothing helps.  And I'm getting desperate.

I go to sleep with the headache, I wake up with the headache, I walk around all day in a haze, feeling like my head is being squeezed like a grapefruit.  Pressure and pain all around my head, worst on my forehead and temples, but radiating all around.

It's not hormonal.  My eyes were just checked and they are fine.  I've been getting plenty of rest and water.   I'm not sick or hung over.  I cannot figure out a cause for this, other than just tension.

Help?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? 

What do you all do for headaches? 

Yesterday I realized I have to take action so here is what I came up with:

I ate 100% vegan and natural all day, and plan to all week (no relief yet though).  Also, I found a chiropractor in my neighborhood and am getting a refferal from my primary physician on Thursday so I can start seeing him for adjustment.  And tomorrow I am going to do yoga at a studio down the street.

What else should I do?

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hair-dos, family dancing, broken toes and voice recording

hair-dos, family dancing, broken toes and voice recording

1. Last weekend I got my hair cut and colored....

2.  Following the hair Erich and I went down to San Diego for his cousin's wedding....

3. And I did lots of dancing with his sister and mom (2 fabulous ladies)...

4.  And when I kicked my shoes off I tripped and had a toe injury.....

5. Took my ugly toe to the doctor.  Diagnosis: nondisplaced avulsion fracture of the third metatarsal.  Treatment: tape, elevation, ice and rest.

6. Last night our neighbor Johnny, who writes music for commercials, came over and asked for a favor.... 2 hours later I was standing in his apartment with 2 other girls around a microphone recording a cheer/ shout/ song.  So when you see the Capitol One commercial with the girls playing jump-rope, that's my voice you're hearing.  Random?

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chances are i'm..... revealing my FAVORITE products

chances are i'm..... revealing my FAVORITE products

I'm not a total product junkie.  Really, I use the cheapest shampoo I can find, NEVER spend more than $10 on a bottle of wine and consider $9.99 a perfectly acceptable fine dining dinner price.

That said.... there are a few things I LOVE, and I want to hare them with you:

1. Favorite online clothes shopping: Modcloth.com.  I am a self proclaimed internet shopper.  I have my credit card number memorized for quicker check-out.  A friend introduced me to the most awesome online clothing shop.  They have the cutest clothes at the best prices.  Everything is super high quality, they have cheap shipping, and they update the site several times a day with new items!


2. The most awesome hair products in terms of hold, volume and stay: Big Sexy Hair "Spray and Play" Hairspray and Kenra Creme Paste. They really do hold and create volume without being heavy.  Pretty decently priced.  Have to get at beauty supply stores.  If you have short hair RUN out and get them!

3. Absolutely saved my skin: Dermologica.  For about 10 years I was a dedicated Clinique user.  But then I started to notice about 6 moths ago that my skin was changing and wasn't as clear or vibrant as I wanted it to be.  So I asked my friend, who has beautiful skin, what she uses and she told me about Dermalogica.  So I started doing research and found it to be a fantastic line.  All of the products are all natural... but not wimpy!  They are truly clinical products that heal and re-surface skin.  Anyway, I went ot my local Dermalogica store and had a free "Face Mapping"where they diagnosed my skin and told me which products would work best.  Let me tell you: I noticed a difference in my skin after the first day.  My skin has never been softer, smoother or more clear.  I have completely STOPPED using foundation.  I don't need it.  It's amazing.  My skin glows.  Now I recommend it to everyone.  I use twice a day, morning and evening: 1. precleanse, 2. followed by special cleansing gel, followed by 3. daily microfoliant.  Then, about once a week for even deeper exfoliation I use gentle cream exfoliant and if my face feels dry I use active moist and if I am going out in the sun I use pure light spf30. Yes, I know, it's a little pricey, but worth every penny- you will not regret it.


4. If you want to feel like you just got a cleaning t the dentist twice a day go get THE BEST toothbrush on the planet: Philips Sonicare.

5. I HATE body lotion.  It's usually greasy or sticky or makes your skin feel strange.  I almost never used it.  That was until I went t Israel and discovered AHAVA.  It is the most amazing hand and body lotion I have ever found.  It smells great and somehow soaks in and moisturized but doesn't even feel like you put any lotion on.  I swear to you it is freaking amazing.  GO GET IT.  Best part: you don't have to all the way to Israel to get it.  You can find it online.  Even on Amazon.com.  Again, it's a little pricey but worth every penny.

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progress...

progress...

Starting up sip! has been quite a long progress.  Trying to be a scientist/ grad student + move in with your boyfriend and renovate and entire room + have a life + build a business from the ground up = super hard.  That said, it's been a blast.

I have done things I never knew I could do: I bought a domain name and built a website completely on my own.  I designed a business plan, created pricing and found a graphic designer to help me create my "brand" single handedly.  Every step I take toward building my business is incredibly satisfying and fulfilling.  I am doing this all for myself, on my own time, with my own money.  It is my creation, my baby.

For the first time ever I am allowing myself to relish in my own creativity, to foster my innovative and business minded-side and to make my own decisions.

After I came up with the idea for sip! the first thing I did was select a name and then buy a domain name for the website.  Then I created an email address... and from there I started building my website.   That part took months of editing and do-overs.  I changed my wording several times, added pages and altered my pricing.  And when I finally revealed sip! to the world it was an incredible feeling!  Everyone was so excited for me and for the concept of sip!.  Not only that, but people were so helpful; offering editing advice, pointing out spelling errors and giving marketing tips. 

After the site was completed I needed to creating marketing materials.  So I got online and priced graphic designers.  When I found a price I was happy with I worked with him to design my brand.  And last week he presented me with 3 different, beautiful logos to work with in creating my marketing materials.  I couldn't believe I had logos!

From there I was able to create business cards and "rack cards" using an online printing company.  After hours and hours of playing with designs I finally came up with 2 finished products I love, and I placed my order for them today!

What is next?  So much!  I am constantly tasting wines (I am sampling all organic wine currently) so that I have my favorite go-to wine if an event should come up.  Also, I am in the process of searching for inexpensive wine glasses to have my logo etched onto. 

It's such a fun and exciting process, and I will keep you all updated as progress trucks along!

Check out my designs.....

My business card:

My rack card:

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My "simple woman's daybook"...

My "simple woman's daybook"...

Because my life has been so random and hectic and crazy and fun lately, I feel like it is important to remember that the most precious parts of life are often the simplest.  So today's post is inspired by The Simple Woman's Daybook.

FOR TODAY

Monday, October 12, 2009...

Outside my window... a jungle of tropical plants and large umbrella leaves set against a gloomy gray overcast beach morning sky
I am thinking... I haven't been healthy enough, eatten enough greens, done enough yoga or had my fair share of tea
I am thankful for... my loving boyfriend
From the kitchen... a big bowl of "Oaty Bites" cereal and unsweetened Whole Foods soymilk
I am wearing... black yoga pants, a yellow USC t-shirt, a green hoody and hot-pink glasses
I am remembering... how I used to be so dedicated to healthful vegan eating
I am going... to see my psychiatrist today
I am creating... business cards and marketing materials for sip!I am going...
I am reading... Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
I am hoping... to find the willpower, drive and passion to complete my PhD by August of 2010
I am hearing... cars driving by outside
Around the house... there are pi;es of clothes: to be hung up, to be donated, to be washed
On my mind... I really want to work out again.  I really want to spend Christmas with Erich.  I really want to always be in love and as happy as I am right now.  I can't wait to be a mother and a homeowner.  I have no idea what I will be doing this time next year.
One of my favorite things... the new feather bed I bought to put on top of Erich old hard mattress.  Now it feels like we are sleeping on 100 pillows
A few plans for the rest of the week... 6 (or more) meetings, a catch-up dinner with an old friend

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loaded

loaded

Questions: What happens when it is 8pm on a Monday and 2 slightly alcoholic, extremely busy people have A FREAKING MOUNTAIN (9 loads to be exact) of laundry taking over their bedroom?

Answer: LAUNDRY DATE!!

Step 1: Separate laundry in various piles: cold, warm, hot and "manties"*

Step 2: Load car with laundry.  Don't forget entertaining women magazines.
Step 3: Find laundromat..... specifically search for one located next door to a liquor store
Step 4: Fill washers with 9 loads of laundry.  Add soap and press start.
Step 5: Go next door to liquor store.  Purchase tall boys of cheep beer and/ or mini plastic wine bottles.  Place in paper bags..... ghetto fabulous is the theme.
Step 6: Return to laundromat and proceed to comb through magazines for a) sex tips, b) hair styles and c) quizzes
Step 7: Be sure to hide mini plastic wine bottles from laundromat attendant
Step 8: Change mountain of wet clothes/ towels/ sheets and manties* over to dryer.
Step 9: Open second mini plastic bottle of wine/ cheep beer tallboy.
Step 10: Throw dry clothes in car.  Don't forget magazines!
Step 11: Pick the more sober one to drive home.

*manties = Erich's "tighty whities".  Only he wears every color (including pink and purple) OTHER THAN white.

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security FAIL, weekend WIN

security FAIL, weekend WIN

Thursday night I parked my car on the street across from our apartment like I often do.  I left my GPS in the car on the seat, as usual.  And for some reason I left my phone in the car as well.  And never went out to get it.  I suppose I figured I would just get it in the morning.
I thought wrong.

This is what I found when I went out to my car Friday morning:

Someone broke the passenger-side window on the Versa and stole my GPS and phone.
No fun.
But I guess I asked for it for leaving valuables in plane sight, right?

Anyway, it was all such a horrible day:  1. I got a new phone.  and I upgraded... to an iPhone.  Now I'm obsessed like everyone else and 2. Erich's Dad sent an awesome belated birthday gift to him via FedEx Overnight: amazing VIP seats tot he Dodgers game that night!

And t make it even cooler.... they had fireworks (my all time fav) that night at the stadium after the game and we got to watch them on the field!

So, yeah.  It was a security FAIL.... but overall a weekend WIN**.

**Well, technically it was only a win for Erich and me.  And for the mean folks who stole my stuff.  But not for the Dodgers.  They lost to Colorado that night.

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a BIG announcement

a BIG announcement

I am please to present to you: sip!

Thoughts?

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why do they call it "fasting" when it feels so damn slow?

why do they call it "fasting" when it feels so damn slow?

You gain strength, confidence and courage by every experience in which you face fear and then do the thing you thought you could not.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

On Monday I did something I never imagined I could do: I went 24 hours with nothing but WATER in my belly.

I know what is going through your head: "But Crystal, you love to eat!  WHY???  the heck would I do something so freaking crazy?"

I did it for Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement and the Holiest Day of the Jewish Year.  Its central themes are atonement and repentance. Jews traditionally observe this holy day with a 24-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in synagogue services.  Considering that I am a newly observant Jew, and not the most religious of folks, I decided to observe the fasting portion of Yom Kippur, for the first time in my life.  What that means: no eating or drinking anything but water until Sundown on Monday.

I know, I know, NOT eating is NOT my favorite thing in the world.  We all remember what happened when I had to have a colonoscopy:  my hunger left me in a puddle of tears on the floor crying to my mommy. 

But, alas, I have grown and matured in the last 2 years, and I decided to take on this challenge.

I had to begin my fast at Sundown on Sunday night.  Erich, being the good Catholic Alter boy that he is, decided he wanted to support me and his other Jewish friends by fasting with us, as did a few of our other non-Jew buddies.  It was pretty awesome.  So Sunday night we all went out and sat at a bar until 6:42pm eating Mexican Food and drinking Sangria.  It was a pretty awesome way for us all to begin our fast: drunk.

Then came Monday morning.  This was the toughest part of the day for me because I look forward to breakfast more than any other meal.  I've always eaten breakfast.  I live for my big bowl of cereal and soymilk!  Plus- no tea allowed either!  That means NO CAFFEINE!?!

But I did it and I lasted through until noon- bitching a lot and being grumpy- but lasting.  Then at noon I went to a special lecture where free pizza was abundant.  I could smell it in the elevator.  And again, I held out.  In fact, I held out all day. No food.  No juice.  No caffeine.

To be honest with you, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Fasting hunger is different than in-between meal hunger.  I anticipated this and purposefully didn't cheat.  I figured- if I don't have any sugar at all I won't have any blood sugar drop and wouldn't get all shaky and nauseated.  And it worked.  I never felt sick or horrible, just plain hungry and kind of cracked out.

That's not to say it was fun.  Or comfortable.  Or easy.   In fact, it was one of the greatest tests of my willpower I have ever endured.  No one would have noticed or cared if I had just one bite of pizza to stop the pains.  Or a sip of coffee.  But I really wanted to do it.  I didn't want to let myself down.  I wanted to show myself I could do something uncomfortable and difficult.

Whenever I started to get really desperate for a banana I would remember:  I am not alone in my hunger today.  Erich fasted with me.  And my Jewish and non-Jew friends fast with me.  And even more importantly, millions of Jews all over the world fasted with me.  Not just this year but last year and for thousands of years before I was even born.  And that was when my attitude changed.  And I realized, I am a part of something bigger.  My own Jewish observance is part of a greater story, which is the passing on of Jewish traditions from generation to generation.  And if I don't fast then my kids won't fast either.  If I don't carry out the Jewish traditions my children won't ever understand their own Jewish heratage.  And if every Jew around the world decided to just cheat when observance became uncomfortable Judiasm would no longer exist.

It reminded me of something I spoke about with our trip leader while I was in Israel.  He said to me:

"Crystal, all Jews have a spark within them that ties them to Israel.  And because you listened to your own spark you will continue the Jewish tradition in your family for generations.  Had you no come to Israel the Judaism would have died with you.  But now you will pass on the culture and heritage to your kids and they will do so for theirs and Judaism and the love of Israel will be a part of your family forever"

In the days leading up Yom Kippur I would ask my Jewish friends, "How am I supposed to be atoning for my sins when I will be too busy being miserable and bitching all day!  What does fasting have to do with atoning?!?"

But by the end of the day I had my answer:  Fasting is what set the day apart for me.  Because I still went to work and I didn't go to temple or pray, or hang out with Jews all day, my hunger was the only thing that continuously reminded me that it was a special day, an important day and a holy day for Jews.  My fasting set me apart from other people, from non-Jews.

So in the end, my hungry Yom Kippur wasn't about atoning for my sins.  It wasn't about being holy or religious.  It wasn't even for God.  For me, my Yom Kippur fast was keeping a promise I made to myself when I went to Israel to maintain and foster about my identity as a Jew.  My fast was a symbol of my Judiasm, and in the end, that was enough to keep me going.

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chatter

chatter

Last week it came to my attention that there is an awful lot of chatter in my department going on behind my back about me.  It seems that many of my friends and colleagues have serious doubts about my ability to graduate in May 2010.  Apparently, the consensus is that I don't work long enough hours or hard enough in the lab.  That I blog/ gossip/ dink around all day and don't generate enough data.  That I am having too much fun.  That I'm not dedicated enough to finish on my time line.

Yeah.  Ouch.

When I got news of this chatter I was, well, a little shocked.  Shocked that I am apparently the talk of the town.  Shocked that the same people who are judging me on my work habits have enough time at work to sit around and talk about me, well, not work.  Over the course of the day this shock turned to anger.  And eventually anger turned to sadness.  And I found myself driving home crying to my sister and Erich.

I had started to doubt myself.  Maybe I am a slacker?  Maybe I won't graduate?  Maybe I should be working 8am to 8pm  Maybe I should dedicate all of my time, energy and emotions to lab work?  Maybe I have been enjoying my life and my job too much?

Thankfully I have the most incredible support system and they knocked some sense back into me.

Amy said: "Don't you dare change who you are!  Don't you dare change your actions for some stupid people who are talking about you and doubting you and judging you!  They don't know you like I do!  I know that you have dedicated yourself to graduating in May and I know that when you set your mind to something YOU WILL DO IT.  Don't you dare change your life to please other people.  Be true to yourself Crystal."

and then Erich said: "I wish that people could see all of the amazing sides of you.  You are so multi-faceted.  You do so many things so well.  And no one gets to see all of it except for me.  It is such a shame.  You do research in the lab so you can get your PhD.  You are Vice President of the student body and sit on 3 committees to help run the student government.  You come home after work and plan games and talks for volunteer guest lectures at high school.  You blog and you write about things you are passionate about.  You are starting business.  You plan vacations and surprises for people.  You do all of this so well and the sad thing is the only thing the people at work see is one side of you.  And they judge you for it.  It's a shame."

And you know what?  They are right. 
I am not going to change.
I am not going to show up at work early and leave late.
I am not going to pass up concerts with my boyfriend or girl-dates on Wednesdays.
I am not going to stop doing all of the things that I love just so I can appear to be a better scientist.
I am not going to waste away my 20s in the lab while my boyfriend and friends are enjoying their lives.
I am not going to stop blogging.
I am not going to stop socializing with friends at work.
I am not going to take this life too seriously.
I am not going to stop enjoying each and every day.
I am not just a scientist and I refuse to become a one-dimensional person just so that my peers will stop doubting me.
I will graduate in May and I will do it my way.
I will cherish every single day by filling it with activities that make me happy.
I have come this far and done well, by being true to myself.  And I will continue to do so until I am finished here.
I will get data and I will graduate in May.

How's that for chatter.

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Happy Stem Cell Awareness Week! Today's Topic: Working With Stem Cells

Happy Stem Cell Awareness Week! Today's Topic: Working With Stem Cells

Working With Stem Cells*

The day-to-day work that goes on in the laboratories across the country studying stem cells begins with developing ways to identify stem cells, culture cell lines and stimulate stem cells to differentiate. Once these first steps have been achieved, work on animals plays an important role in furthering basic research and developing medical applications. This work is necessary to form the foundation of knowledge that will point the way to medical advances. To address ethical concerns about the destruction of blastocysts, scientists are trying to find alternatives to using embryos in stem cell research. 

Identifying Stem Cells 
As early as 1961, scientists knew that adult bone marrow contained cells that could make all of the blood cell types. But it wasn't until 1988 that those stem cells were isolated as pure populations.

Why did it take so long? The techniques for identifying stem cells have only recently been developed. Partly, this is because adult stem cells are, by their very nature, inconspicuous in shape, size, and function. They also tend to hide deep in tissues and are present only in very low numbers, making their identification and isolation like finding a needle in a haystack.

How do scientists know when they have found a stem cell? Every cell displays an array of proteins on its surface; different cell types have different proteins. Scientists can use these surface proteins as "markers" that characterize individual cell types-a type of "molecular ID." For example, using molecules that recognize and attach to specific surface proteins and that can fluoresce under certain wavelengths of light, scientists can visually tell the difference between a blood stem cell and a mature white blood cell. Unfortunately, not all stem cells can now be identified in this manner because scientists have not yet identified markers for all stem cell types. Scientists also identify stem cells by observing their behavior in the laboratory: stem cells must be able to remain unspecialized and self-renew for long periods of time. Scientists believe that there might be more types of adult stem cells than the handful that have already been identified, but finding them is a difficult process.

Culturing Cell Lines and Stimulating Stem Cells to Differentiate 
Cell culture is a term that refers to the growth and maintenance of cells in a controlled environment outside of an organism. A successful stem cell culture is one that keeps the cells healthy, dividing, and unspecialized.

The culturing of stem cells is the first step in establishing a stem cell line—a propagating collection of genetically identical cells. Cell lines are important because they provide a long-term supply of multiplying cells that can be shared among scientists for research and therapy development. The National Academies report Stem Cells and the Future of Regenerative Medicine (2001) described some of the challenges of maintaining cell lines: "Over time, all cell lines change, typically accumulating harmful genetic mutations. There is no reason to expect stem cell lines to behave differently. While there is much that can be learned using existing stem cell lines, such concerns necessitate continued monitoring of these cells as well as the development of new stem cell lines in the future."

Once they have established a stable stem cell line, scientists start the process of causing the stem cells to differentiate into specialized cell types. The cellular environment in which stem cells naturally reside provides scientists with clues about how to make them differentiate in a culture dish. For example, in the bone marrow, where blood stem cells reside, bone cells send physical and chemical signals that tell the blood stem cells when to differentiate. Scientists are just beginning to understand these signals and have developed ways to mimic the natural processes in cell cultures. Usually, the technology involves adding certain proteins to the cell culture and, in some cases, introducing specific genes into the stem cells.

It will be essential that scientists are sure that stem cells have fully differentiated before they can use them for medical applications. If completely undifferentiated stem cells (such as embryonic stem cells) are implanted directly into an organism, they can cause a type of tumor called a teratoma, which scientists have observed in experiments using mice. Semi-specialized adult stem cells and differentiated cells derived from embryonic stem cells are unlikely to cause teratomas.

The Role of Animals in Stem Cell Research 
For medical research, as well as for research that explores the basic processes in the development of organisms and diseases, scientists often rely on animals. Implanting human cells into animals such as mice has long been common practice in order to test the safety and effectiveness of new drugs, procedures, and medical devices before clinical testing in human volunteers.

For stem cell research, scientists use animals to make sure the stem cells are able to incorporate into the tissue, do not cause any harmful consequences, and function in concert with the rest of the body. For example, before using stem cells to replace the pancreatic cells that are destroyed by type I diabetes in humans, scientists will transplant human stem cells into a mouse to see whether the stem cells yield healthy, insulin-producing cells. If their methods prove successful in mice, scientists may eventually apply the technology to developing treatments for diabetes in humans.

Animal studies can also reveal how human cells differentiate during normal development. For example, scientists may implant human stem cells into a developing mouse to observe the processes involved in building and organizing the different tissue types that make up the human body.

Scientists can also trace the development and progression of certain diseases within an animal. By implanting human stem cells that lead to a particular disease into a mouse blastocyst, scientists can observe when and how the afflicted cells begin to show signs of disease and can test drugs that might prevent that process.

Organisms that contain cells or tissues from another individual of the same or a different species are called chimeras. A common example of a chimera is a mouse that has been injected with some human cells so that it can be used for studying a human disease or testing a new drug. A person who has had a blood transfusion or a person who has received a heart valve transplant from a pig is technically a chimera, as well. The making of chimeras for research has unique ethical implications that have been the topic of discussions among scientists, ethicists and the public, especially when the chimeras contain both human and animal cells.

Alternatives to Using Embryos in Stem Cell Research 
To address ethical concerns about the destruction of blastocysts, scientists are trying to find new ways of obtaining stem cells that behave like embryonic stem cells but that don't require harming a blastocyst. As the science progresses, ethical issues surrounding these alternatives may also arise. Some possible alternatives include:

• Cells collected from the morula (MOR-yoo-la), the developmental stage prior to the blastocyst. The morula, a solid ball of about 16-30 cells, seems able to sustain the loss of a few cells without developmental damage so that the remaining cells can continue to develop. Cell extraction from the morula is already being used in some clinics to screen for genetic disorders in embryos produced by in vitro fertilization.
  
  Researchers have recently shown that cells isolated from a mouse morula can give rise to embryonic stem cells while the remaining morula cells develop into a healthy mouse. However, this process may still be morally objectionable to some because of the chance of harm to the morula, and because the long-term effects of removing cells from a morula are not yet known.
• The creation of embryonic stem cells through a process called altered nuclear transfer (ANT). In this variation of the nuclear transfer technique, scientists create a blastocyst whose genetic material has been changed so that further development and implantation into the uterus is not possible. It aims to create embryo-like entities that are not truly embryos but that can be a source of pluripotent stem cells.
  
  ANT, so far only tested with mouse blastocysts, could allow the creation of embryonic stem cells without destroying a viable human blastocyst. Some who object to embryonic stem cell research support ANT because the resulting blastocyst could never develop into a full human being and therefore would not have the moral status of a human embryo. However, this procedure is objectionable to some because they believe that it involves the creation of an imperfect blastocyst that is designed to be destroyed.
  
• Causing an adult cell to act like an embryonic stem cell. During development, as cells become more and more specialized, they gradually lose the ability to turn on the genes that allow embryonic stem cells to be so versatile. The silencing of these genes seems to be responsible for keeping specialized cells specialized and limiting the differentiation capacities of adult stem cells. By "reprogramming" adult stem cells so that they can turn on the genes that allow versatility, scientists hope to cause them to revert to a more flexible state. It is even possible that scientists could one day "reprogram" any cell, not only stem cells. However, research in this area is in the early stages and scientists may be many years away from making an adult cell as versatile as an embryonic stem cell.

 *Source: http://dels.nas.edu/bls/stemcells/working-with-stem-cells.shtml

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